No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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