I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
