sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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