Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
