Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
be right there i have to get my cape
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
