I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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