I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
