lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
