I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize