Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
