cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
