Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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