when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
