Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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