Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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