I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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