Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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