I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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