also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
