Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize