Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
