is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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