wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
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