Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize