She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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