what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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