Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
