I can feel you judging me through the phone.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
