I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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