420 ftw
where am i from again
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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