shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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