i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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