I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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