I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
