you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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