Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
