I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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