is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
