I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You took a bar mat shot.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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