are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
