So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
