Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
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Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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