Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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