My first STD was from a foam party
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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