Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
