six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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