My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
