Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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