Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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