Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
