haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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