Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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