last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Be still, my beating vagina.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
