They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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