He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
