He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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