her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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