just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
