1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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