Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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