I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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