No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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